Wedding Party

BRIDE

The Bride’s role in planning the wedding is an important one. Whether you’re organizing the wedding yourself, or getting help, there are some duties that could be carried out by you. 

Great tips here to get started and get organized!

Large wedding party

With the groom…

  • Determine your budget. Consult with family members if they are contributing. 
  • Choose; location of wedding and reception, theme, invitations, save-the-date cards, caterer, music, photographer. And plan your honeymoon together.
  • Go together for yummy food and cake tastings, and have fun together picking out potential gifts for your wedding registry.
  • Meet with your ceremony officiant to discuss wedding details. Attend premarital counseling. Write wedding vows together, if you choose.
  • Decide who will coordinate lodging for out of town guests.
  • Purchase gifts to honor the children in the wedding party, and for parents, or anyone that helps with your wedding.
  • Go for blood tests (required in some states) and marriage license. Check with your state to verify type of I.D. needed.
  • Send handwritten thank-you notes for all gifts that you receive, from the shower to the wedding, in a timely manner (preferably within 3 months after the wedding).

Your role before the wedding…

  • Compile list of guests from your side of the family.
  • Choose your wedding gown, undergarments, shoes, hairstyle, jewelry, and make-up. Hire a make-up artist and hairstylist if it fits within your budget.
  • Choose bridesmaids/attendants and your honor attendant. 
  • Plan a get-together for attendants, i.e. luncheon or “girls day out”, if it fits within your budget.
  • Buy gifts for the attendants, including bridesmaids and honor attendants.
  • Buy a gift for the groom, and the groom’s wedding band.
  • Work with wedding planner (if hiring one), or DIY to book and coordinate venue, bakers, caterers, D.J.’s, photographers, florists and anyone who will be there for the big day.
  • For the wedding shower, give guests names and addresses to host or hostess of shower, join in on the fun, and make sure to send handwritten thank-you notes to all.
  • Make DIY wedding decorations, centerpieces, favors, and even gifts for the wedding party. Allow enough time, so you’re not in panic mode right before the big day!
  • Get your personal stuff in order…change your name on credit cards, bank account, an insurance policies. Make sure your passport is up to date if traveling out of the country.
  • The day before, enjoy a mani-pedi…alone or with your family and attendants.

For the honeymoon…

  • Remember your budget when planning!
  • Shop for sexy lingerie, massage oils, etc. 
  • Coordinate sitters if leaving children or pets at home. 
  • Pack for honeymoon, and don’t forget sunscreen, and medications. There’s nothing worse than a sunburn on a romantic getaway! 
  • Important…Remember, when planning for your wedding…stuff happens and plans may have to change accordingly. Be flexible, have a sense of humor, go with the flow, and have fun!

GROOM

The Groom’s duties are an important part of the wedding, no matter how much the bride or planner do to organize it all. There are certain duties that should be carried out by the groom.

Guidance for the Groom:

  • With the bride…Determine your budget. Consult with family members, if they are contributing. Traditionally, the groom’s parents would pay for the rehearsal dinner, their attire and any travel and lodging expenses they incur. Establish as early as possible, who is paying for what.
  • Choose the location of wedding and reception, theme, invitations, save-the-date cards, caterer, music, photographer, and plan your honeymoon.
  • Go together for yummy food and cake tastings, and have fun together picking out potential gifts for your wedding registry.
  • Meet with your ceremony officiant to discuss wedding details. Attend premarital counseling. Write your vows, if you’re choosing to do so.
  • Decide who will coordinate lodging for out of town guests.
  • Purchase gifts to honor the children in the wedding party, and for parents, or anyone that helps with your wedding.
  • Go for blood tests (required in some states) and marriage license. Check with your state to verify type of I.D. needed.
  • Send handwritten thank-you notes for all gifts that you receive, from the shower to the wedding, in a timely manner (preferably within 3 months after the wedding).

10 Groom Duties

  1. The Ring – Buy  the engagement ring and wedding band. Some brides will want to go along for the decision-making.
  2. Wedding Party – Pick  your attendants, and remember they don’t have to be men. It’s perfectly acceptable to ask a special lady to be your best person, or attendant. Pick someone that you are close to, and who is reliable enough to be there for emotional support, and to help when needed.
  3. What to Wear – Choose wedding  attire  for yourself and attendants. Tuxedos  are always easy and elegant, but there are alternatives. Depending on the theme of the wedding, choose anything from a casual suit to beach attire.
  4. Party – Attend engagement party, bachelor party (if you choose to have one), wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
  5. Gifts – Buy  for attendants and best person, to be given at the rehearsal dinner. And, don’t forget a gift for your bride!
  6. Speech – Prepare  speeches  for rehearsal dinner and wedding reception.
  7. Ride – Arrange  for  transportation  for the wedding party to the wedding, and for you and your bride after the reception.
  8. Settle Up – Pay  the fees of the person presiding over the ceremony. Ask your best person to deliver the payment after the wedding ceremony.
  9. Optional – Pick out your  own cake  if you decide on one. This is a  special cake  that reflects your interests, profession or hobby. Find your own unique way to serve the cake. Maybe the bachelors only, or the oldest married couples get a piece. Be creative! Think outside the box…the cake box that is!
  10. Let’s Dance – At the reception, dance the first  dance  with your beautiful bride, and enjoy the moment!

The Honeymoon…

  • Make sure your passport is up to date, if traveling outside the country.
  • Coordinate sitters if leaving children or pets at home.
  • When packing, remember the sunscreen, and medications. There’s nothing worse than a sunburn, or running around looking for medicine that you forgot at home!
  • Important…Remember, when planning for your wedding…be flexible, have a sense of humor, go with the flow, help your bride when she needs it, and have fun!
Close up of the groom
The groom getting ready for his big day

BRIDESMAIDS

Congratulations! You’ve been invited to be a bridesmaid in your friend’s wedding! You may have no idea what to do next, but don’t fret…here are some tips just for you! 

Prospective Bridesmaids; before accepting the invitation, consider the expense, and if it will fit into your budget. It may be hard to say no, especially if you’re close to the bride and groom. 
If money is tight, let them know… you may be able to brainstorm together about how to save money. Once you commit, don’t back out, unless you have a very good reason!

Duties (includes honor attendants)….

 

  • Provide emotional support.
  • Offer to help with anything! Shopping, packing for honeymoon, running last minute errands, and making sure bride eats before ceremony, etc.
  • Host a bridal shower and/or bachelorette party if the bride chooses to have one.
  • Help out-of-town guests with travel arrangements.
  • Help address invitations if you live locally.
  • Attend and assist with rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
  • Assist bride with dress; getting dressed and undressed.
  • Receive guests at the reception, and start the dancing.
  • Use any special talents you may have to help create a beautiful wedding like making favors and wedding centerpieces.

Attendants are normally responsible for their own:

  • Gifts for shower and wedding. 
  • Travel expenses, dresses, shoes and accessories.
  • Cost of hair styling, makeup, manicures and pedicures. The bride may offer to pay for something like a mani-pedi, depending on her budget.

Additional duties of the honor attendant: The maid/matron/man of honor is the bride’s/groom’s right hand person and attends to her needs before, and after the ceremony.

  • Shop with bride for bridal party attire.
  • Hold the grooms ring until given to the bride at the ceremony.
  • Hold the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony.
  • Witness the signing of the marriage license.
  • Be available for wedding photos before or after ceremony.

Optional: Gives a toast to the bride and groom at the reception mentioning things like: What the bride said about the groom when they first met, a story about growing up together, a funny habit of the bride that the groom may not know, words of advice or wishes for success and happiness.


Be the best you can be! Stay positive for the bride and groom! Help make their day as stress free as possible. Be punctual to all functions, smile, help and socialize!

 

Guidance for the Groom:

With the bride… Determine your budget. Consult with family members, if they are contributing. Traditionally, the groom’s parents would pay for the rehearsal dinner, their attire and any travel and lodging expenses they incur. Establish as early as possible, who is paying for what.

  • Choose the location of wedding and reception, theme, invitations, save-the-date cards, caterer, music, photographer, and plan your honeymoon. 
  • Go together for yummy food and cake tastings, and have fun together picking out potential gifts for your wedding registry.
  • Meet with your ceremony officiant to discuss wedding details. Attend premarital counseling. Write your vows, if you’re choosing to do so.
  • Decide who will coordinate lodging for out of town guests.
  • Purchase gifts to honor the children in the wedding party, and for parents, or anyone that helps with your wedding.
  • Go for blood tests (required in some states) and marriage license. Check with your state to verify type of I.D. needed.
  • Send handwritten thank-you notes for all gifts that you receive, from the shower to the wedding, in a timely manner (preferably within 3 months after the wedding).

10 Groom Duties

  1. The Ring – Buy the engagement ring and wedding band. Some brides will want to go along for the decision-making.
  2. Wedding Party – Pick your attendants, and remember they don’t have to be men. It’s perfectly acceptable to ask a special lady to be your best person, or attendant. Pick someone that you are close to, and who is reliable enough to be there for emotional support, and to help when needed.
  3. What to Wear – Choose wedding attire for yourself and attendants. Tuxedos are always easy and elegant, but there are alternatives. Depending on the theme of the wedding, choose anything from a casual suit to beach attire.
  4. Party – Attend engagement party, bachelor party (if you choose to have one), wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
  5. Gifts – Buy for attendants and best person, to be given at the rehearsal dinner. And, don’t forget a gift for your bride!
  6. Speech – Prepare speeches for rehearsal dinner and wedding reception.
  7. Ride – Arrange for transportation for the wedding party to the wedding, and for you and your bride after the reception.
  8. Settle Up – Pay the fees of the person presiding over the ceremony. Ask your best person to deliver the payment after the wedding ceremony. 
  9. Optional – Pick out your own cake if you decide on one. This is a special cake that reflects your interests, profession or hobby. Find your own unique way to serve the cake. Maybe the bachelors only, or the oldest married couples get a piece. Be creative! Think outside the box…the cake box that is!
  10. Let’s Dance – At the reception, dance the first dance with your beautiful bride, and enjoy the moment!

The Honeymoon

  • Make sure your passport is up to date, if traveling outside the country.
  • Coordinate sitters if leaving children or pets at home. 
  • When packing, remember the sunscreen, and medications. There’s nothing worse than a sunburn, or running around looking for medicine that you forgot at home!

Important… Remember, when planning for your wedding…be flexible, have a sense of humor, go with the flow, help your bride when she needs it, and have fun!

BRIDESMAIDS

Congratulations! You’ve been invited to be a bridesmaid in your friend’s wedding! You may have no idea what to do next, but don’t fret…here are some tips just for you! 

Prospective Bridesmaids; before accepting the invitation, consider the expense, and if it will fit into your budget. It may be hard to say no, especially if you’re close to the bride and groom. 

If money is tight, let them know…you may be able to brainstorm together about how to save money. Once you commit, don’t back out, unless you have a very good reason!

 

Duties (includes honor attendants)….

  • Provide emotional support.
  • Offer to help with anything! Shopping, packing for honeymoon, running last minute errands, and making sure bride eats before ceremony, etc.
  • Host a bridal shower and/or bachelorette party if the bride chooses to have one.
  • Help out-of-town guests with travel arrangements.
  • Help address invitations if you live locally.
  • Attend and assist with rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
  • Assist bride with dress; getting dressed and undressed.
  • Receive guests at the reception, and start the dancing.
  • Use any special talents you may have to help create a beautiful wedding like making favors and wedding centerpieces.

Attendants are normally responsible for their own:

  • Gifts for shower and wedding. 
  • Travel expenses, dresses, shoes and accessories.
  • Cost of hair styling, makeup, manicures and pedicures. The bride may offer to pay for something like a mani-pedi, depending on her budget.

Additional duties of the honor attendant: The maid/matron/man of honor is the bride’s/groom’s right hand person and attends to her needs before, and after the ceremony.

Shop with bride for bridal party attire.
Hold the grooms ring until given to the bride at the ceremony.

  • Hold the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony.
  • Witness the signing of the marriage license.
  • Be available for wedding photos before or after ceremony.

Optional: Gives a toast to the bride and groom at the reception mentioning things like: What the bride said about the groom when they first met, a story about growing up together, a funny habit of the bride that the groom may not know, words of advice or wishes for success and happiness.


Be the best you can be! Stay positive for the bride and groom! Help make their day as stress free as possible. Be punctual to all functions, smile, help and socialize!

GROOMSMEN

The groomsman job may sound easy, but they can play a valuable part in making sure all goes smoothly on the big day!

Your groomsmen (which includes the best man and ushers) are all important members of the wedding party, so choose wisely. And remember, you can include male or female. 


Traditionally, the groom would include only males as part of the wedding, but it’s certainly acceptable and popular to include a person (man or woman) that the groom is the most comfortable with.

The groomsmen

GROOMSMEN

The groomsman job may sound easy, but they can play a valuable part in making sure all goes smoothly on the big day!


Your groomsmen (which includes the best man and ushers) are all important members of the wedding party, so choose wisely. And remember, you can include male or female. 


Traditionally, the groom would include only males as part of the wedding, but it’s certainly acceptable and popular to include a person (man or woman) that the groom is the most comfortable with.

The Best Man…

  • Is the groom’s right-hand person, to give help and advice when needed.
  • If the groom wants one, organizes the bachelor party. And don’t worry about footing the bill; it’s acceptable to ask guests to share the cost. Organizse gift for groom with fellow attendants, and give to groom at bachelor party.
  • Picks out tuxedos with groom, and makes sure all who are attending have been fitted for their suits.
  • Along with fellow attendants, decorates the get-away vehicle.
  • The day of…Gets the groom to the ceremony site early. Makes sure all of the attendants are briefed on their duties, i.e. where to stand, and where to seat guests.
  • Makes sure the groom brings the ring and the marriage license. Holds onto the bride’s ring during the wedding ceremony. And, along with the bride’s honor attendant, will witness the signing of the marriage license.
  • Delivers payments (prepared by the groom or bride) to officiant, or anyone who performs the ceremony.
  • Drives the bride and groom to the reception, unless they hire a driver.
  • Gives the first toast to the bride and groom, and offers to dance with the bride, and her honor attendant.
  • Arranges for transportation for couple if going to airport for honeymoon. 
  • Returns tuxedos and rental items the next day.

The Groomsmen…

  • Assist the best man with bachelor party if needed, and chips in on groom’s gift. May also be invited to engagement parties, and couple showers.
  • Get fitted for tuxedo and allows enough time for alterations.
  • May be asked to decorate the get-away car for the bride and groom.
  • Before the processional, lays the aisle runner, if one is provided. Gets there early!
  • Helps usher guests to seats at the ceremony, and hand out programs.
  • Helps with cleanup after service, i.e., gathering up programs, rolling up aisle runner, removing pew ribbons, or moving decorations to reception.

The Ushers…

This is a great way to include extra family members that aren’t in the wedding party. And, if your wedding is big, you’ll need them. Allow one usher for every 50 guests. Also, a great way to include younger family and friends!


Ushers assist the groomsmen with the aisle runner, escorting guests to seats, handing out programs, and help with cleanup.


Dress to match the wedding attendants…if they are wearing tuxedos, you should also.

MOTHER OF THE BRIDE

The bride and groom do most of the wedding planning and will have their own vision and ideas. However, your daughter will appreciate your help and advice and you should freely give it when asked. The main responsibility of the mother-of-the-bride is to be the hostess for the entire wedding event.

Her role includes:

  • Helping with the budget, since she may be footing all or some of the bill.
  • Contact the groom’s parents and arrange to meet, if you haven’t done so.
  • Helping the bride pick out a wedding dress.
  • Contacting the groom’s mother regarding the guest list.
  • Choosing your own mother-of-the-bride dress for the wedding day. Let the mother of the groom know the color and style right away so she may find a complimentary dress if desired.
  • Help out-of-town guests on the bride’s side with hotel reservations and travel arrangements
  • You may include walking down the aisle with the bride and her father or lighting a candle on the alter.
  • Make sure everyone has instructions for the ceremony.
  • Be a happy hostess and enjoy this glorious day!

 

FLOWER GIRL

The flower girl is traditionally by a young girl from the age of 3 to 8 years old, and her “job” is to toss petals as she walks down the aisle. She can be a relative, or close friend. This is also a great way to include your own small children in the wedding! Her main job is to be adorable!

Wedding Flower Girls

What to wear…

The bride traditionally chooses the dress, and is considerate of the budget if the parents are paying…
It’s customary for the parents to pay for the little one’s dress, but the bride and groom will sometimes offer to buy her dress as a gift. This is especially nice if the attendants’ parents are part of the wedding party!
In many cultures, the bride chooses the look of a “little bride” in all white. But, she can also match the colors of the wedding theme and/or bridesmaids. 

What she’ll carry…

Traditionally the flower girl to carries a basket with flower petals, which are scattered down the aisle, although your ceremony venue may not allow that (for liability reasons), or you just may want something different. Here are some cute ideas…

  • Bubbles are always fun! Have her blow them all the way down the aisle.
  • Make a gorgeous flower wand! Add beautiful ribbon to match your colors. Little girls love this idea…makes them feel like a fairy princess!
  • Make a small pomander, and have her carry it down the aisle.
  • Make a bouquet to match the bride or bridesmaids flowers.
  • For a rustic wedding, fill a tin pail with flowers.
  • Sentimental? Ask her to carry a family bible or favorite book, decorate with flowers and/or ribbon. 
  • Let a decorated wagon carry her! Great for wee ones who may have trouble making it all the way down the aisle.
  • If your ring bearer is a dog, let her hold the leash (if the dog is well behaved), and give her a flower crown to wear.
  • For one or more girls, make a sign or banner saying something like “Here comes the bride”, “Daddy here comes Mommy”.

Tips for the walk…

Invite your flower girl to pre-wedding events like the wedding shower, wedding rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner. Getting to know everyone, and rehearsing ahead of time will surely make things go more smoothly!

 

  • Practice, practice, practice! Go over her duties with her several times right before the wedding.
  • Before the walk, take a potty break…needs no explanation!
  • In most cases, she’ll walk right the behind the ring bearer.
  • Seat the parents toward the front and on the aisle seat, she’ll be encouraged and reassured by them. A young girl should sit with her parents after her walk.
  • Older girls may stand at the altar with the bridal party.
  • And remember, anytime you include a young child, anything can happen. If it does, be patient.

 

RING BEARER

The ring bearer is generally a boy of about 4 to 8 years old and carries the groom’s ring or both rings down the aisle.


But… A ring bearer doesn’t have to be a boy. A girl or even the family pet can join in on the fun! Choose someone that is important to you, and don’t let anyone talk you into having a child (or pet) there that you’re not comfortable with. It’s your wedding after all!


If you have more than one child, have one carry the rings, and the other a handmade sign saying…”Here Comes the Bride”, or something funny like…”Hurry Up, I Want Cake!

Young boy as the ring bearer

What to wear…

Suits and tuxedos for children can be rented or purchased to match the wedding party. For a more casual look, dress shorts, dress shirt and tie are adorable! If it’s a girl, a flower girl dress is appropriate. There are even clothes for pets in weddings! 

Remember to consider the parent’s budget. The child’s parent may also be part of the wedding, and that can add up to a big bill! If you can afford it, and especially if you want something extra fancy, don’t be afraid to offer to help out.

To carry the rings…

Choose a holder with meaning if at all possible!

  • Wooden boxes
  • Baseball glove
  • Miniature cars or boats
  • Family bible or favorite book
  • Small pillows, from burlap to satin
  • Large shells for a beach wedding 
  • Pet collars (for your furry friends)
  • Musical instruments

Tips for the walk…

  • Practice, practice, practice! Make sure to include them in on the rehearsal.
  • Take a potty break beforehand…needs no explanation!
  • Seat his or her parents on the aisle, and near the front so that he can see them, and sit down easily.
  • Most importantly, remember you’re dealing with a child, and anything can happen. And if it does, have a sense of humor! 

In what order do they walk…

In most cases, they walk right behind the last bridesmaid, and before the flower girl. Of course, it depends on customs and traditions in your community and religion.

 

Pick Your Pet…

For the pet lovers out there, your ring bearer can also be your favorite furry friend! To many, the family pet is an important part of the family. 

Tips for pets in weddings…

  • Check with the venue to make sure pets are allowed.
  • Recruit a handler to escort your pet down the aisle, and hire a pet sitter for after the ceremony.
  • Let your guests know, in case anyone has allergies. Your wedding website would be a great place for that.
  • Have someone carry your furry ring bearer in a wagon, if you’re not sure they’ll make it down the aisle. 
  • From the pet’s collar, hang the rings (we recommend fake). 
  • Dress them up, but make sure it’s something that is comfortable. And bring plenty of treats and water. 
  • Just like we advised for kids…take a potty break beforehand!